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Time Does Not Fly
We all know that these are extravagantly complicated times — times that most of us never even imagined facing in our lives, let alone while listening to someone like me speak. During times like these, more than ever before, we need strategies and tools, not only to inspire us, but to show us how to take control of the things that matter most to us — our cell phones, our cars, and especially our time. Today, I’m going to show you how to live longer. Now, I don’t intend to add years onto your life or to make you immortal. We’ll save that for another session. But with Southern California’s latest addition to the self-improvement cavalcade, the Ultimate Minute Extension Program, I guarantee that every minute you live will be prolonged beyond your wildest expectations. The Ultimate Minute Extension program is designed to empower you with the focus and training you need to stretch time — minute by minute. Just as a personal fitness trainer helps you raise your standards for an obsessively sculpted body, the Ultimate Minute Extension Program will challenge and support you in attaining the results you desire for complete Chill-laxation. Of course, you CAN’T learn to stretch your minutes in an hour, a day, or even a weekend. Only with total immersion and an irritating attitude, like mine, can you produce minute stretching results. Before you enroll, let me give you a taste of what this program is about. Are you ready? Here we go: First: recognize the problem. How many times have you said, “Time flies.” Even if it’s only once, The Ultimate Minute Extension Program can help you. In just a matter of weeks you’ll be unburden from making time-shortening statements like. “It seemed like only yesterday” or “This year sure has gone fast.” or “Is it Christmas already?” or “Where did the time go?” Second, in The Ultimate Minute Extension Program, we’ll learn how to replace these negative time stamps, as I like to call them, with the Ultimate Time stamp. In Ultimate Time life moves at a very generous pace. In Ultimate Time, you can’t possibly get everything done. And why would you want to? Save that nonsense for someone else. Bucket lists are for losers. Sit back. Look around. Take it in. Minute by minute, life is crawling by. I’m going to let you in on a little secret. It’s your first Ultimate Time stamp. Repeat after me. Time does not fly. Time moves at your pace. Time, it’s been said, is what happens to keep everything from happening at once. So think of your time as a sentence. It’s up to every one of us individually to organize our time by putting commas, semi-colons, periods and even footnotes in places to slow time down. If you think time is flying, you lack punctuation. You’re the one who’s flying. Living in Ultimate Time, you’ll notice that many people are running around as if their hair is on fire, which brings us to step three. When someone tells you that time is flying, simply say “No it isn’t. Shut the fuck up.” Usually when someone says “time flies,” they’re looking from the present time straight to something that happened a long time ago — with no minutes (semi-colons or footnotes) in between. They’re crunching time. Psychologists claim that time seems to go faster with age. It’s a process they call telescoping. As an example, one day to a four-year-old would be about 1/1500th of their life, while one day to a 29-year-old would be about 1/10,000th of their life. If you follow the logic, a day would appear much longer to a young child than to an adult, even though the measure of time is the same. But that’s what psychologist say, and who listens to them, anyway. With The Ultimate Minute Extension Program you’ll learn to concentrate on the ticks of the clock. And you’ll be astonished just how much of your life you’re overlooking. In Ultimate time, you count the small things down to the minute. For example: I figure I’ve eaten 1, 550, 000 peanuts in my life. Talk about life moving slowly. If I asked you to eat 1, 550, 000 peanuts you’d say that’s impossible. But it isn’t. Those 1, 550, 000 peanuts are living proof that my time moves at a very bountiful pace — in Ultimate Time. I know that most of you want time to move slowly. Otherwise you wouldn’t complain so much about it moving too fast. With that in mind, however, be forewarned. The Ultimate Minute Extension Program may not by for everyone. And that’s a shame, because the more people who become part of the program, the less I’d have to listen their time-is-flying bullshit. So sign up today. Try the program free of charge for a week — while you're running, on your way to work, texting, or doing something else that makes you feel that time is flying. Let the Ultimate Minute Extension Program engage the power of momentum to transform your life. Call today. Time is running out. — Nathan
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Broadcasting Fridays at 8:50 am from KUCI 88.9 fm Orange County, California
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